A group of ladies and I are reading Shonda Rhimes’ New York Times Bestselling Novel, “Year of Yes.” So far it has proven to be a very witty but powerful novel about self-reflection and change. To avoid revealing the story, I’ll just say this, Shonda relates how years of saying “no” to new engagements and opportunities had left her feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. In an effort to correct this, she makes a commitment to saying “yes” for an entire year.
Now the group with whom I’m reading this book is simply a circle of ladies, who have committed to reading together and sharing our thoughts on this book. Most of us are women of a certain age who have become friends, old and new. During one of our meetings, a few of the ladies shared some inspiring reasons why personally, they have decided to start saying “yes” more frequently in their own lives. One declaration however, really resonated with me. To paraphrase it went something like this, “I have lived for 50+ years and I do not have another 50+ more years to live, and that’s why I’m saying yes.”
To me that was very profound, in fact that was my truth. The reality is, that was the truth for many of us on that call and I’m guessing it is for some of you reading this post.
We’re often in the habit of saying “no” simply to avoid leaving our comfort zones. We make excuses of being too busy, too scared, too tired or too alone. We fear the uncertainties that come along with trying new things so we say “no” to people and opportunities that could have probably made a lasting impact in our lives. We say “no” and as result we miss out on experiences that could have potentially, encouraged us, saved up, lifted us, blessed us, or at the very least, created some beautiful memories to last a lifetime.
As we get older and our remaining lives get shorter, continuing to say “no” leaves us with even less opportunities to say “yes”. Habitually saying no at any age is self-defeating, but let’s face it, as our friend alluded to on that call, as we get to a certain age there will be even less time ahead of us to experience new things. So let me just say this, whatever age you are, but especially if you’re in your winter years, if you’re in the habit of always saying “no”, you owe it to yourself to start learning how to say “yes.”
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Sincerely Jan 
This last year, I made a decision to make memories, a little like saying “yes”. My husband and I got into a rut, when money was almost nonexistent, to not give gifts at Christmas and other times due to limited finances. After three years, I decided it was not right to treat each other that way even though we were in agreement. So things started changing, and I started expanding the idea. This week I am planning a valentine dinner and activities for the two of us. Perhaps it is age and less years to live, or just wanting change, either way I am enjoying it. Thanks for sharing.
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Sometimes we do have to make certain adjustments to fit our situation. I’m glad though that you realized when it was time to make a change. Enjoy your Valentines Day plans!
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Have you seen the movie Yes Man? That’s what happens when the affirmative gets unwieldy. 😆 It’s a comedy.
Definitely a balance here, like with everything else. As women in our 50s there’s power in saying No as well as Yes. Depends very much on circumstances and timing.
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So true, there has to be a balance and yes, I did see “Yes Man”. Jim Carrey is hilarious!
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This hits home for me. I am that “no” to everything or stick to what you know person who just wants to be alone and stay in my comfort zone. Definite food for thought.
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Baby steps, try saying “yes” to something you would normally refuse at least once per week. You might like it and find yourself trying new things more often 😊.
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Oh definitely, baby steps.
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I loved this book!!!!! I listened to Shonda read it on an audible recording. I have recommended it twice to my sister, and one of those times was just this morning! So imagine my “it’s a small world feeling” when I saw your post. I am going to listen to her audible book again when I’m walking. I discovered the book by listening to someone from interview Shonda Rhimes.
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Small world indeed! Inspiring book, isn’t it?
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I am in a journey of saying Yes starting on my birthday in March. I want to step out of my comfort zone and live new experiences.
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Yes, I know you have already started saying “yes” my friend. It’s going to be early, but we must celebrate that BD in JA.
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If I follow this advice, my kids will be in shock. They’ll think it’s a trap! 😆😁
But maybe a little affirmation would be okay for the weekends. 😉
Nice post, JR. 🥂
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Once in a while a little yes is okay 😊.
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I really enjoyed this blog. I am sometimes timid to get out of my comfort zone but the moment I said “yes” in any situations the experiences are good.
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See, we won’t know unless we try!
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