There was a time not so long ago when I had started questioning the existence of God. There were no disappointments over unanswered prayers nor any life shattering events that made me lose faith. I had simply grown out of touch with the Lord and his word. Being out of the Lord’s presence while entertaining and being exposed to negative thoughts and ideas about Christianity leaves one open to indifference. Furthermore, my life was moving along seemingly fine, no reality check in sight, so this indifference slowly morphed into full blown skepticism. Day by day with the distance between us growing wider, it got easier accepting the idea that there was nothing else out there, no superior being, and that I alone was in charge of my destiny.
I resented the “bible thumping” preachers who dared to bare my soul and I scoffed at what I dubbed, the hypocritical Christians who were only “Godly” on Sundays. Sadly, I was also accepting the idea of there being no heaven and even better no hell. But, if I was being honest with myself, I would have acknowledged that it was just easier on my conscience believing I had no one to answer to and that there would be no consequences for my growing disbelief and lack of faith. Now in my defense I must say, I was still the kind decent compassionate person I am today, but there was something missing. Peace and contentment were missing.
Luckily for me, he cared enough to rescue my soul. Now most of us believers will agree that the Lord no longer performs miracles like parting the seas and walking on water, but I’ll be the first to say, he still does perform miracles. He performs small meaningful ones in my life almost every day and once I started looking and listening to him, they became very apparent. Being diagnosed with leukemia saved by soul. Sure, it had ravaged my body and had almost taken my life, but it was during this time that I had my awakening that there was indeed something out there greater than this physical world. He showed me numerous signs of his existence and being confined to a hospital bed I had time to slow down, see and appreciate them. I simply listened and he revealed himself to me more and more each day. I had forgotten how to pray; in fact, it hadn’t felt natural to do so in quite a long time. That too comes with distance and indifference. Slowly I learned how to pray again, and I started learning how to let go and let the Lord take over.
Today I have found peace and contentment and I’m in my best space spiritually and mentally. I spend my life daily in God’s presence reading his word. He calms my fears and my anxieties about the future, and he guides my thoughts and my actions. I wholly accept him as the master of my destiny and all I need do now is follow him. He speaks to me daily and thankfully I have come to realize that all we have to do to hear him is believe, spend time with him, pray and just listen.
Thanks for reading, Sincerely Jan!
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Sincerely Jan 
Beautiful testimony. Amen! We serve an amazing God!
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Thanks Joy, and yes, he is amazing!
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Hallelujah. God is good. And He loves us unconditionally.
I am grateful for you divine perfect healing.
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He loves us even when we don’t deserve it, thanks!
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I think most of us lose are faith sometime during out lives….thankfully, most of us find it again too!
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Yep, so true! We get so busy running around with our lives we totally lose touch of how and why we are here. Unfortunately for some of us, it has to take some live changing events to bring us back to reality. Thanks!
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We all lose faith from time to time, especially if something life altering happens. But God is who He is and is faithful and just to forgive. Most importantly, there is that little nag that is always in our spirit to let us know that there is a God, and we need not stray of stay in disbelief. He most definitely performs signs, wonders and miracles daily to let us know that He’s there and ever present.
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Yes, my dear you summed it up perfectly, thanks!
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Amen my friend! God IS AMAZING and yes all we need to do is listen and look- so many seemingly simple blessings we experience every day that we can take for granted if not in tune with Him! Thankful and happy for your spiritual journey Janice! He knows how to get our attention when He needs to. Today I was marveling at His blessings because I woke up late to go on the road to get something for dinner before work so I was going to encounter rush hour traffic and only had an hour and half time frame to work with in order to get to work on time. Miraculously I got back home on time to get ready for work and arrived in the nick of time for work. One minute delay and I would have been late. I was laughing to myself in amazement and gratitude how well the evening turned out ! Yup God deserves our service and praise! Blessings!💟
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Yes, Marlene he has always got our backs, if only we could just learn to trust him more.
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So true, we will all see these small miracles in our lives if we look and listen for them. Thanks for sharing!
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Always 😊.
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This is so touching! The true image of a patient Father who waits on us until we ‘come to our senses’ just like the prodigal son. What love! Yes…He is always there and speaks in so many different ways.
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Yep unconditional patient love.
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“Today I have found peace and contentment and I’m in my best space spiritually and mentally. I spend my life daily in God’s presence reading his word. He calms my fears and my anxieties about the future, and he guides my thoughts and my actions.”
Wanted to amplify that
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Thanks 🥰.
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Beautiful testimony, and true. We have to stop to listen, He is always there. My husband and I were talking this Easter. I always talk to God, I am alone most days and have been for many years, I have no one else to talk to. My husband appreciates that I hear God, I talk to God about everything. God is always there, we are the ones who move away or no longer talk or do not want to listen. Thank you for sharing and encouraging us to want a even closer relationship with God.
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Thanks and yes he is ever present. We sometimes lose our way but he never gives up on us🙂.
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