A few months ago, I had written a blog about “What Men Really Want”. Well, now that it’s May, a month for celebrating mothers and women in general, what better time is there to talk about what we women look for in a partner.
Now some of you might think it’s the superficial things like being good looking, being financially secure and being good in bed, but while these are all good things to be, what we truly want in our partners runs way deeper than that.
Vulnerability and being emotionally present are qualities most women appreciate in a man. Lots of men struggle with this though. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing and sometimes men think it’s weak or unmanly to express exactly how they’re feeling, especially emotions of sadness and fear. Most women however are emotional beings, and we want to know exactly how you’re feeling, good or bad. There is a certain amount of intimacy to be had when a man is willing to open up and “bear his soul” or at least let us into his head and heart, even if only for a little while. Maybe this is only me, but there is something very sexy about a man who’s not afraid to cry when the time calls for it. Not a guy who cries for the simplest of things, but one who has empathy and is comfortable with being visibly moved to tears instead of trying to stifle it.
Now ladies, I’m sure you all know this guy. The one who is inappropriately interested in other women at a function even though he’s there with his partner? Trust and respect are at the top of the list of things that we women want and even demand from our partners. Now don’t get me wrong, we’re all humans and there will always be good-looking guys and gals other than our partners who deserve a second look. In fact, I’ll be the first to point out a good-looking woman or man for that matter, to my husband when we go out. However, there should always be a level of integrity and trust between you two to prevent your partner from being disrespected, feeling dispensable or just looking plain clueless. On the other end is jealousy. If there is honesty, trust and respect in a relationship, then there should be no need for petty jealousy.
Now this is a big one for me but sometimes it’s the hardest to explain. Women need a partner who makes them feel safe. Not safety as in making sure the doors are locked or even being willing to take a bullet for us. It’s more that feeling that gives us the assurance that no matter what, whether the situation is routine or life changing, you’ve got our backs and that we will always be okay. There’s a sense of security in a partner who’s in the “know”. Genuinely knowing, the right thing to say, the right thing to do and having the right emotion at the right time is extremely comforting and goes a long way in making us feel safe.
Finally, women like guys who have a sense of humor. Guys if you don’t already have one, then grow some. Seriously though, you don’t have to be a comedian, but most women will surely appreciate a guy who does not take himself too seriously and is okay with “letting his hair down” and having a few laughs. When you’ve been in a relationship long enough, eventually the formalities begin to wear off and frequently humor and a little banter develops organically between the two of you. If you’ve been together for a while and this is not happening in your relationship, then there’s a good chance, one of you might be a “tight-ass”. Guys this is the perfect time to check to make sure it ain’t you. Still, if you’re both okay with there being no humor, then that’s okay too.
So, these are just a few of the qualities women look for in a partner. Since this is by no means an exhaustive list, please free to add a few more in the comments or just let me know what you’re thinking!
Thanks for reading…Sincerely Jan!
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