Fear, Ego, Truth & Love

Posted byJanice ReidPosted inBlogsTags:, , , , , , ,

My husband and I spent the weekend in Virginia. Lately, we had somehow fallen into that “same old dull routine” of quiet lazy comfort and while that’s okay for a while, sometimes you have to “spice” it up. So, since we’re not into “pina coladas and getting caught in the rain”, if you don’t get the reference look it up, we decided to be spontaneous and drove over 400 miles to Virginia to support our son and his soccer team in their playoffs.

Since we were already in Virginia, we decided to make the most of it, so we stayed in Virginia Beach which is almost an hour away from the tournament. Sun, soccer and some social life, how could you beat that? If you’ve ever been to Virginia Beach, you’ll know there’s nothing to it but casual fun. There’s the boardwalk with lots of half-naked guys and girls traipsing around, a bunch of bars and restaurants peddling over-priced cheap food, endless days of sweating in the sun, and live shows and free performances by the boardwalk, just what we needed.

While walking on the board-walk Saturday night, we stopped at a magic show. After the show I walked away with 3 cards the magician had used to do his first magic trick. He made the audience keep them; I didn’t steal them. Each cards had one word Fear, Ego or Truth written on it. So, I’m back in our hotel room staring at these 3 cards and thinking about how relevant they were to our trip.

I’ll start with ego. The main reason we were in Virginia was because of soccer, or at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. You have to admit though, and I’m sure my son would agree with me, that in addition to skill and discipline, it takes a certain amount of “ego” to be really successful at the game, or any sport for that matter. We tend to always view ego negatively, but unless it’s a puffed-up false sense of pride it doesn’t have to be. What it should be viewed as, is a conscious awareness of self-esteem and self-worth.

Next is fear. My husband is the most cautious and prepared person I know. Disclaimer** My husband is not a coward, he is a very strong and brave man. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way we can talk freely. This is the guy who, if we’re going anywhere over an hour long, he takes allergy medication, aspirin, Emergen -C, band aids, our blood pressure machine, my epi pen and my asthma pump. Mind you, I have not had an issue with serious allergies or congestion in four years and probably doesn’t anymore. He’s reluctant to go into any ocean unless it’s on an island somewhere and will only venture into non-Caribbean waters briefly after I’ve been in for a little while, just to test the waters and try to convince me it’s time to come out. Sometimes it’s just to have a little chat about rough waters and lurking sharks. Maybe fear is a strong word, but whatever it is, I do understand the feeling and where it’s coming from, and I respect it.

Which brings me to the truth. The truth is, we’re all motivated by love. Our son loves the game of soccer, and we love to watch him and his team play. My husband and I love each other and our family, and we also love getting away alone together every now and again. And as for fear? The fear is also out of love. The truth is, when you have been together with someone for a long time, you come to rely on them being there. Whether that’s healthy or ideal is not the point, it is, what it is. So, what do we do with our time? We manage our egos, we control our fears, we live our truths, and we make the best of every moment, one day at a time.

As for the tournament, our son’s team won both games, and it’s off to Knoxville, Tennessee next weekend for more playoff games. Will my husband and I be there? There’s a greater chance of us “sipping on pina coladas and getting caught in the rain” somewhere else!

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26 thoughts on “Fear, Ego, Truth & Love”

  8. What a beautifully written blog. I really enjoyed this. You just go ahead and live life enjoy your family, friends and that very fearless, disciplined man of yours.

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  9. I wanted to comment when I liked this post, but I was tired and slept off! Okay now that I’m awake and drinking coffee again, I want to tell you that this is a fantastic post. Yes, playing soccer or any sport requires ego or confidence. I used to play soccer in my twenties and only when I went out there with a desire to ‘own the field’ could I perform well. Ego isn’t necessarily a bad thing when it’s related to getting things done. But when it becomes delusions of grandeur it’s terrifying. Fear is good in its own way. Methinks it helps motivate sometimes and without truth where will we be. You’ve captured all this and more brilliantly in your post. Forgive me for the lengthy comment! I enjoyed your post.

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  10. Congratulations to your son and his team! It’s a beautiful thing to see parents travel miles just to witness activities their children participate in. I really admire that.

    You have a handsome husband. He’s well-built just for Janice.

    “We manage our egos, we control our fears, we live our truths, and we make the best of every moment, one day at a time”

    I love this ending. I always believe certain things we often consider negative can be used to attain positive results. You mentioned that ego isn’t an entirely negative thing and I agree with you.

    Great job with this post.

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  13. I must say, I’m pretty much like your husband in preparedness. I’ve never been a girl scout but my high school classmates thought I was because of always being prepared. 😁 Where did they ever get that idea? 😄 But you’re right, when you’ve been together for a long time, you tend to rely on them more knowing they’ll always be there. Nice post, Jan. 🥰

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